More pictures

Brooklyn Baby

I think that Brooklyn is one of the most beautiful places in have ever been too. It is where my husband is from and where we are making our home at. I love the diverse culture, the landmarks,the people are amazing, and it is full of so much excitement.

I have been interested in photography ever since I was little. i love to look at people's pictures, it tells a story;a story that only the people in the photograph know. If I do say so i am really good at it. It is a hobby. My sister tells me that I should drop this medical business and pursue my art. but I feel as if I need something to more stable.

Anywho, here are some pictures of New York.

For My Tennessee Peeps

Step Out To Fight Diabetes
Saturday November 7th 2009
Nashville Zoo at Grassmere

6:30am is registration
7:30am is fast walk
8:30am is leisurely walk

Hey everyone! I wanted to bring up something that is pretty dear to me. My mom and my father pretty much a good portion of my family has diabetes. I have been very active in different organizations and have been notified of this one listed above.
I would like to put together a team for the Event. It is just a 2 mile run/walk but I believe that it would be worth it. I would like to get a small or even large group together;dominate the others. yeah I know that is alot to say, but I can be a little exaggerate. Anyways, Two or more can make a team;I have decided to name it in honor of my mom. so TEAM JOAN is the name. Unless I can get others to join me and we can call it something like "sugar warriors" lol. There will be a continental breakfast available,music,snack, and health/fitness zone.
Please if anyone is going to be in the area of Nashville just think about and let me know. My email is tiffanyntoney@yahoo.com, even if you would like to do this solo that is great too. For more information here is the website:www.mc.vanderbilt.edu/diabetes/drtc/walk

Fisher House

we have been at the Fisher House ever since last Tuesday. It actually has not been that bad. We were expecting something completely different. Everything is great here as far as hospitatlity. The rooms are awesome! We do have to clean up after ourselves but I guess that is pretty good considering it is free.
I talked to my friend Lauren last night and Itold her that people here are kind of nosy but I realize that I should not have said that. I just do not want people in my business. I as well as Lauren have learned that the hard way. Anyways, I appreciate the support here, I do enjoy meeting the other injured soldiers and their families. I think that it is good that everyone here is not comparing injuries and so forth. There was this lady that works or volunteers in the office, when we arrived she said that we were in the wrong place. She took one look at eddy and was ready to send us to the Hyatt. He showed him his orders and she shut up. Eddy does nt have any physical ,visible injuries except the burns on his back. Everything else is internal. So people automatically assume he is 100% healthy.
I am using the Fisher's House laptop that they allow you to "check out" so I am not able to get on as much or for long period of time. i should be back home late monday night, then it is off to the VA hospital. Whoo-Hoo

oh the joys of PTSD

So after many years of crazy arguments I thought that I had a good grasp on how to handle my husband who has PTSD.I honestly do not think that anyone who is in a similar situation will never have a grasp on anything.
I always like to go out and do things but alot of the times I do them without my husband. More often I am alone or with my one year old son.
So finally Eddy and I have a night to go out and it actually plans it, I do not! We go to the movies, dinner. Things were going great until he spots this beat up, abandoned car on the side of the road. He starts to shake and slightly tears up. I completely forgot about how seeing such things upset him, so i did not know what to think. I pull over and he completely loses any sense of normalcy he has acquired sense treatments.
This is one of the reasons he refuses to drive and I am glad. I do not want him to get in a serious car accident,hurt himself or another person.I know that there are so many other soldiers that have this same fear. It breaks my heart because he just sobbed to me that he wants his life back and I feel helpless. The only thing that I know to do is be here.
I want to go in his sessions at the VA hospital but he does not want me to.I have to respect that. He does let me hear the recordings so I do get to hear how he feels. But it is so hard on a day to day basis trying to avoid an episode or reaction from the PTSD.

It hurts sooooo Bad

Okay so I went ahead and paid the $400 dollars I owe to the credit card. It felt good up until the point I remembered I had to pay my tuition....and now it hurts to know that I cannot go and experience the BOGO Free jeans at NY&Co. I have been in the slumps ever since. I am starting to begin to believe that I have a shopping problem. Honestly should one be this depressed...ummmm.
Anyways, I am one credit Card away from being completely debt free with the exception of a car payment; which is exciting in its own. Plus I am closer to applying to the radiology program. This brings me to my new anxiety. what if I do not get accepted? This means I will have to wait a complete year to apply again. SIGH!!!!!!!! I might try for another degree if i do not get accepted or just wait around I dont know.

calling all debt collectors!

First let me say that I hate you. I think that your jobs are meaningless and that you guys probably go home unhappy.
On Monday I received a phone call from what I knew was a Debt Collector. I answered the call, i began to discuss the matter with the guy. SO I explained that I could have the payment in full on the first of the month. All of a sudden the dude goes total dick on me. He was like "obviously you do not intend to pay this debt". he questions why I have not paid it. So I explain to him that my husband has been seeking treatment at Vanderbilt and the VA hospital; and he says well maybe you should get a job like everyone else. Excuse me douche bag,have you not been watching the news. 5 million people have lost their jobs, besides fucker if it were any of your businness I am mother who wants to spend every waking moment with my son.So it is none of your businness why I do not work, what my husband condition is like, nor is it any of your businness to criticize me choosing to stay at home with my child. So Mr. Debt Collector, i understand that it is your job to harrass people but do not call my phone and think you can talk to me as you want. It is just fucking 400 bucks and I will send it on the first! And if you think that you are better than my husband or any other military personnell at that matter you are wrong. You may make more money, you may have a better state of mind, but you are lacking the balls.
Anywayans,he goes on to say that he has left me voicemails at my home,which if he had done that he would know that I do not have an answering machine.The guy says well obviously you are too busy playing nurse to a guy that is able to take care of himself. And your use that as a crutch. YES! you figured me out. I love watching my husband cough up blood everyday, have seizures, get Bi-Weekly CT scans on the Mass that is on his lung. I love waiting long hours in a waiting room while he sits in therapy to tell how he was blown in the air by a IED,how his LT told him to shoot a little kid that "had a bomb". I love not having a life, I love being away from my son hours into the day. So Mr. know it all, go screw yourself. And if YOU call back and keep harrassing me I will send the $400 in pennies.

I am not feeding you what you want,I am going to let you starve!

Okay I have my rant for the day! My hubby, my son, and I went to a resturant after my son's well visit checkup. As We are walking in the door these ladies decided to stop what they were doing and stare at me. They stared at me until I approached the cashier.
Not thinking about it we sit in a booth that is attached to theirs. As we are sitting down, we are gathering straws, napkins, forks etc. The ladies and their daughter, whom completely turns around to stare at us are whispering. I hate when people stare at other people for no reason, I hate it especially when they are staring at me or my family.
I brush it off. I began to assist Christian with his meal. I glance up and there they are sporting the Kate Gosselin hair do but looking like Rosie ODonnell is their idol. So I say aloud to Eddy " I do not understand why people stare". It really bothers me! These bitches continued to stare when they were leaving.
I do not know if they were staring at us because we are an interracial couple. Oh wow a puerto rican and a white girl. If that is true then I am sorry that those women are so ignorant and it makes me sad that they are so stuck in a time that should not have ever existed in the first place;it also saddens me that they are teaching their young daughter the same ignorance that they share. now if they were staring at me cause my boob was hanging out or if i toilet paper on my flip flop then they should have said something. But regardless of why it is just flat out annoying, rude, and it pisses me off.
So i guess my lesson is that I am not going to feed your fat asses with a reaction,I will let you two starve;you guys could use a diet. I am going to sit back and pray for your ignorance,immaturity, and pathetic existence that you ladies would have in life.By the way the two of you looked like two lesbians: with your boyish clothing, mustaches that needed desperately to be waxed, and your Kate Gosselin do, which by the way is even more ugly on the two of you.
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Hello my name is Tiffany and I am a retired Army Wife....not!

Hi! This is my first blog entry and I am kind of nervous. There are so many thoughts running through my mind, so many levels of stress that overwhelms my body, and so many tears of frustration that I want to cry. But for some damn reason I cannot do any of those,I have to stay strong.
As my first blog entry i will just do a sort of intro. As the days go by I will type my thoughts,my wishes,hopes,dreams,etc. My husband has been seeking treatment through the VA hospital and has been diagnosed with a TBI and severe PTSD;which is on top of his kidney disease,a mass on his Lung, and his burns on his back from the explosion in Iraq.
I spend alot of my time in waiting rooms, reading old magazines from a year ago, staring at a clock, or just feeling the urge to just scream.
I think that this blogging idea is great because I can vent without the person I care about most knowing how I am. I realize that my husband has so many thing on a daily basis that he goes through;the night terrors,the flashbacks,the pain,etc, but sometimes I just wish that I can complain without feeling guilty.